Hey! Tossers fans, listen up:
Get in line behind your own Papa Misanthropy, your own (very) Reverend DXM, your own belovéd fuck-up: Zed Martinez! I am petitioning to stop a growing and serious problem within this group; out-weighing crack abuse, listening to DMB, letting Nick near alcohol, and fucking goats. That's right, I am marching to stop racial prejudice against self-respecting, Libertarian voting penises across the world. Like mine. Y Grec the Third. Poor little Y Grec is currently in intense counseling following several acts of savage verbal attacks and a general defamation of character by someone whom I thought knew better: our own Cory Long.
This irresponsible racism cannot be left unchecked. What's next? Fans who only spend 15 seconds reading our hours of work? People who wisely voted against Bush? Raccoons? If we give an inch here, how many miles will this coniving bastard take from us?
Stand with me, oh ye the fans, and together we can overcome this growing menace to our happy, fruitful penile community.
Down with the proletariat, up with the bourgeouise. Grimey prevails.